I am out of control.
My house is a disaster. My laundry is piled to the roof. I can't keep up with my kids' clothes and field trips. I have a paper due Friday that I have barely begun to write. I have a thesis proposal to revise. I have theses chapters to write. I need to get organized before Craig leaves so that I don't have to do it when he's gone. I have appts. to make...people to see, places to go, things to do.
And yet, I sat down tonight, watched Project Runway and ate an entire pint of Haagen Daas Butter Pecan Ice Cream. I can't even say that I enjoyed it. I was on autopilot. I am trying to find my chewy center in all of this without taking a bite and can't quite seem to do it. I think I need a fairy godmother. I just hopes she brings her own spoon.
3 comments:
Lisa, it's natural that you'd especially feel like everything is out of control right now. With hubby leaving soon and responsibilities mounting, many aspects of your life ARE out of your control.
I know that when this last flare-up hit, I realized that I didn't even have control over my own body...much less the rest of my life. What I've done in the past is focus exclusively on the things I DO have control over--hence, my tendency at times to work too much. ;)
I think it can be probably done with much more balance in mind--I just haven't quite mastered that particular skill yet.
If and when you get it figured out, please SHARE! And if she shows up, tell that fairy godmother that I have a pumpkin and a mouse or two that need major remodeling... ;)
Love you!
K.
I hear ya honey. This seems to be a recurring theme with us...more time, more balance. Maybe we'll find it someday, or maybe life is just about the journey toward trying to find it. I don't know anyone who really has it.
I love ya and btw, thanks for the conversation yesterday. I needed it and needed to hear it. So much of all of this feels overwhelming and life shattering. It's weird because I thought I'd be most scared about his safety over there and I'm finding that I'm most scared about who he'll be when he returns this time. That's something I never would have expected before he started deploying.
I will talk to you soon; I've got to write that paper today so once again I'm up to my eyeballs with penis envy;)
Good luck on the paper! And if you get bored and are looking for a distraction, I actually put a new post on my blog this morning!
It's perfect timing, too, because it's all about the pursuit of balance...
Love you,
K.
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