It has finally happened...I knew that it would. I've been waiting for it but somehow I had hoped that it wouldn't. I was hoping that I wouldn't hear the news, that something might change, that we might be wrong, but it was inevitable. Kind of like having unprotected sex but feeling a bit shocked when you find out you're pregnant. Life changing and you knew it would probably happen but you still put your head in the sand and wonder why you're so thirsty.
Craig's been unofficially tasked. Leaves Aug or Sept and not back til sometime inApril. We knew it was coming. Had hoped and thought it would be a bit later...but there you go. The brave new world.
So I've been thinking that I've really got to get this thesis done cuz every semester I've been in the program something weird has happened. 1st, Sept 11th...not good for anyone---2nd, cataracts, makes reading a little hard not to mention surgery to correct and healing time---3rd, move to England two weeks after semester ends, no stress there---4th, precancer, daughter swallows quarter, best friend leaves, generally feel crappy and overwhelmed...did some of my best writing though---5th post hysterectomy and hormonal crazy woman who can't write to save her life and now last, single mom with two kids, no Mary Poppins, writing thesis and defending while playing all the roles...
I have decided to finish my thesis for Fall because, quite frankly I don't think my health or the state of the world can afford for me to continue this degree:) It is all my fault and I'm sorry...So ladies begin looking to the heavens cuz the sky is falling
No really...duck....the sky is really falling!!!!;)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Wow. Sounds like you could use a friend right about now. Waves hand! Lisa, I'm here whenever you need me. I really am.
Just don't ask me for socks. Can't help you there, obviously!
Janet,
You are so incredibly sweet. And I don't just need a friend cuz my husband has a crappy job! I love having you around, we just have such weird lives. And well, I think your socks have migrated over here...we end up with ones that I don't remember buying and don't have matches...maybe it's some kind of vortex:) I will talk to you soon.
Don't you just love the fact that the AF sees fit to take your hubby for the ENTIRE winter when you live in NORTH DAKOTA??? That way, you can worry about snow, ice, subzero temps, and popsicle children each and every day without the benefit of a back-up. On the up side, at least the weather will be a little more bearable for him over there...or is that an up side? ;)
Seriously, though--I think you're very wise to finish the bulk of your thesis work before he leaves; revision and defending are much less time-intensive and stressful than the actual drafting process...or at least, this was true for me.
On the other hand, it would be very wise to take some time this summer to wallow in fun, love, laughter, and family togetherness. Go camping, have barbeques, play miniature golf, and make S'mores around a bonfire. All of those lovely memories will make the short--but bleak--winter days infinitely more bearable, and will remind you why you love the guy who never seems to be there when you need him...and it will motivate him to come home safe and sound.
And Janet's right: she may be a little eccentric (she especially has this hang-up about socks that I don't quite understand), but she's lovable. Best of all? She's great at helping you laugh at the ridiculousness of it all--especially when laughter is the furthest thing from your mind. She was there for me when my best friend moved away to England a few years back, and I don't know if I would have survived it without her. :)
You know, I'm torn because I know that the proverbial ca-ca is going to hit the fan when he goes; it always does. The car will break down. All of us will get the stomach flu, but not at once, over a period of weeks so that the house will always smell of vomit, the washing machine will break cleaning the soiled linen. And to top it off, I'll end up with some crazy student with a military ID that will stalk me...I know these things will happen. They always do;)
So, if I were smart and grown-up about the whole thing, I would get my thesis as close to done as possible before he goes so that the work load would subside. I would stay up late every night diligently plugging away and the keyboard, writing brilliantly and win some kind of award (Pulitizer will do)
On the other hand, I want to create memories this summer. I want some family time. I want some couple time. I want to run through the grass with MY flip-flops, my long chestnut hair flowing behind me (cue the music) with my man at my side...birds twittering and flowers (that I'm not allergic to) in almost bloom. Quite frankly, I'd just really like to have some time to look back on while he's gone where we're not rushed, where I'm not nagged with the guilt of the SHOULD's, and where he can relax and center himself. In ten years, that will mean more to me than the fact that I killed myself this summer at the expense of my family.
So I think I'll try to find some balance (heehee...what's that?) I will work on my thesis and get a good working draft done this summer. Then I'll work between catastrophes after he's gone. I will get it done. It may kill me. But I need to spend time with him so that he remembers that we do have some fun and that he make work really hard to make sure he makes it home.
Post a Comment